Election Day
by Greenfrie
Summary: Misty drags the group to go vote for president of Kanto. But Ash sneaks off when distracted by an egg! gasp
1. And so it Began

_**+ELECTION DAY+**_

**I ain't Satoshi Tajiri. Therefore, I don't own Pokemon. Yeah, that's about it. All bad grammar said by Sush is intended. And if you don't understand the Sush thing, please smack yourself. Hard.**

"NOOOO!"

The ten year old male trainer cried rivers of tears as his friends (or so he called them) dragged him by his feet. He pounded his fists on the ground like a madman until he weakened and fell into an infant-like nap.

"Sorry Ash," said Misty. "We're taking you voting. It's any Kanto citizen's duty."

"But we're not old enough to vote," pointed out Brock. "I can read the "Must be 18 to Vote" signs with my eyes closed, y'know."

"Come on Brock," said Misty. "We haven't aged since the start of the series, but if we _did_ we'd be at least old enough to vote."

"And drink?"

"Perhaps."

"Screw this then, I'm going to a bar and finding some girls!"

_**BWASH!**_

While Brock tended to his mallet-induced head-bump, Ash slowly became conscious. The young trainer stared blankly at his surroundings until he finally saw an egg on the ground. Misty and Brock were arguing over the importance of voting, so Ash ran off while Misty hit Brock over the head several times with the mallet.

A lone Pidgey flew by and crashed into a tree. The trainer grinned; the Pokemon was weak enough to be caught.

"POKEBALL GO!" Ash cried, tossing the ball. The red and white orb missed by ten feet and rolled down a hill and through a river. "Whoops."

If the disappointment of his accuracy wasn't enough, Ash soon realized that this particular Pidgey disliked humans. And that particular Pidgey had razor-sharp talons and an extremely pointy beak.

"HELP ME GUYS!" exclaimed Ash. He turned around to see that his friends had already left.

The large snake made entirely out of rocks thrashed at a large bee-like Pokemon. The Beedrill slammed into a wall and slumped to the darkened forest floor.

"Why did they put the polls in such a strange forest?" asked Brock. "No wonder nobody votes!"

"Be quiet!" shouted Misty. "I don't know about you, but I don't want to have President Sush re-elected!"

"We've decided to invades Johto!" announced Kanto president Sush. "Them legendary dogs are actin' all… weird. Us Kanto peoples don't like that. We gotsta stop them."

"You're right!" declared Brock. "We must fight our way through the demonic Pokemon of the polls!"

Brock's confidence shattered as soon as a gigantic Electabuzz fell from the sky. A helicopter pilot cursed under his breath and said into his microphone, "Damn! This rabid Electabuzz jumped out on us!"

"RAAR!" roared (What else?) the yellow beast. "BUZZ!"

"Um…" muttered Brock, "On second thought…do you even think… um…well…er…eh…"

_**BWAK!**_

The Pokemon punched Brock across the face. The squinting trainer slammed into a tree trunk, which shattered into bits of bark. As he landed back on the ground, he glared (Or at least tried to) at the Electabuzz.

"You're going down!" he shouted, running at the electric Pokemon. The disgruntled Electabuzz pushed Brock aside once more. "Damn it!"

Brock wasn't the only one being viciously pummeled by a Pokemon. The Pidgey refused to stop pecking Ash. At this time, the Pallet Town native was running for his life while bleeding from the back.

Under a hill, a group of three Shaman King-style spirit flames were reading a book titled "What is an Extremely Lame Crossover?" Their peaceful reading was cut off when an injured Pokemon trainer rolled down the hill.

"Shiny floaty things?" said Ash, staring blankly at the spirit flames.

"He's a decent person," the middle spirit commented. "Dumb as a rock, but still a decent person. I think. Oh well, I guess he's a shaman. Or something. I need to read the Spirit Flames for Dummies book again."

Ash picked up a spirit flame and ate it. He ignored the screams and continued to chew. A different spirit flew up to Ash and rammed into his head.

"Let go of Earl!" he shouted.

"Screw this," a voice from within Ash said. "I'll just possess the little moron."

Ash's expression was even blanker than it usually was. He walked up to the bird Pokemon and grinned.

"You think you can win?" Earl the spirit laughed through Ash. "You're going down."

Will the team of Ash and Earl the spirit defeat that evil Pidgey? Will Misty and Brock ever get to vote? Look out for Chapter 2!


	2. Physical and Mental Defeats

**Chapter 2: Physical and Mental Defeats**

With a sneer, the young boy assumed a martial arts pose. The confused bird hovering in front of him just stared.

"I _will_ defeat you!" cried Ash, punching the air with his torn gloves. Was he drunk? No. He was possessed.

The Pidgey spread its wings and screeched at Ash. Our hero ran at the infernal bird, extending his leg to kick at it.

With a swift swing of his leg, Ash attempted to kick. The bird was much more clever then Ash (sadly). It saw the opportunity to dig its talons into the poor boy's leg.

"Damn it," muttered Earl, the spirit who possessed Ash. "This boy still has some free will left in him. And he's like…ten! His mind is foolish!"

* * *

Brock rubbed his bruised cheek (…you know what I meant). He had made peace with the Electabuzz. In exchange for Brock's human pants, the electric Pokemon agreed to spare his life.

Misty was staring at the map leading to the voting booths. Brock stared up into the sky, wondering about the results.

"Do you honestly expect anyone to vote for Sush?" he asked. "I mean, the man's mentally unbalanced. We don't need to vote for the other guy in order for him not to win this election."

"True," said Misty, "but the public might not be as smart as you believe they are."

"Are you sure you can read the map well?"

"Yes Brock. I'm not like Ash…Uh-oh. Ash?"

* * *

Ash drifted down a river, unconscious. Earl, being the intelligent ghost that he was, ejected himself from Ash before the Pidgey finished him off.

The cold, moving water finally woke Ash up. He blinked and looked around him. The chance to defeat the Pidgey and snatch the egg had eluded him.

Feeling defeated, the Pokemon trainer stared into the horizon. The peek of a mountain caught his attention. It was Mt. Moon.

"I'll never be able to gather eggs and beat small birds if I'm not well trained!" he told himself. "If climbing the mountain is the only way to train me, I'll do that!"

No, he was never very bright. But Ash was determined to reach the peak of Mt. Moon. Were his friends going to return to see Ash splattered on the ground?

* * *

"I can't believe we left Ash alone!" exclaimed Misty. "He could have easily angered a more competent Rocket! And if he did…"

The duo continued running until they tripped. A huge cloud of dust that was thrown up when they feel blinded them. When it cleared, a figure was in front of them. It was a…box?

No, it was the voting booth! They had finally reached their goal! But they didn't realize that printed on the side was, "Manufactured by Sush Incorporated".

"Finally!" said Misty. "We can vote, leave, then save Ash from himself."

She entered the voting booth and looked at three levers. There were labels above each of them. The first read: "Sush". Misty knew to ignore that one. The second read: "Sush"! The third, yet again, read: "Sush".

"It's rigged!"

_Shink!_ The floor of the voting booth collapsed under Misty. She screamed, but when Brock got there she had vanished.

"Wow, Misty's so heavy that she made it collapse under her!" Brock immediately had the feeling that Misty telepathically slapped him. "I'm coming!"

He jumped down the hole and into the abyss of the voting booth. His hand accidentally flicked one of the three Sush switches. Did that simple mistake turn the election around?

It didn't matter at the time. Brock needed to save his friend. But as the bottom grew closer, he became more and more curious. What was down there at the bottom?

The wind blew like a tornado as Ash gripped the rocky surface of the mountain. He saw the egg he had come all this way for at the summit. It could have been an illusion. It could have been real. Either way, Ash knew that the truth awaited him at the top.

Several Stantlers looked up at the climbing boy from the ground. They were puzzled. _Why did this Pokemon trainer want to climb that, _one thought.

Despite what the Pokemon thought, Ash was determined. It was inspiring… somewhat. However, it was also foolish. But Ash's attitude kept him alive for several seasons on the TV show. We can only hope that it will help him climb.

* * *

The trio had all lost that day. Ash got his ass kicked by a small bird. Misty couldn't cast a vote. And Brock lost his pants and had to look everywhere for Ash in that half-naked state. But the group wouldn't give up. That was not the end. Why? Because there's a **Chapter 3 coming soon!** shot 


End file.
